

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
12. Glibido: All talk and no action
13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm
in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.