Lose weight now!

Not Sir Phobos · Post by **Not Sir Phobos** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:55 am

A heavyset guy sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only $10 a pound. Call (202) 555-0238" and decides to make the call. The operator asks, "How much weight do you want to lose?"

"Ten pounds," he replies.

"We’ll have a representative over in the morning," says the operator.

About 9 a.m., there’s a knock on the door. There stands a fairly good-looking girl, completely naked except for a sign around her neck reading “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.”

The hefty fellow chases her upstairs, downstairs, and all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing, he catches her. After they have sex, he runs to the bathroom and weighs himself. He’s lost 10 pounds!

That night he calls the number again and says, "I want to lose 20 pounds."

"We’ll send someone over."

The next morning, he’s greeted by a gorgeous girl dressed only in track shoes and wearing a sign around her neck that reads “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me.” The chase takes a good while longer this time, but later he finds he’s lost 20 pounds!

That night he calls and says, "I want to lose 50 pounds!"

"Fifty pounds?" the operator asks. "That’s an awful lot, and at that level the program has some minor changes you might want to be aware about...."

The man interrupts, "Listen, just take care of it!"

About 7 a.m. the man hears a knock and opens the door. Outside stands an enormous German body builder with a sign around his neck that reads “If I catch you I can have you!"

transmet · Post by **transmet** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:14 pm

That's what happens when you're a glutton for punishment.

Good one NSP.

aernath · Post by **aernath** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 2:25 pm

That was great! The whole office loved it!!!

Ashura · Post by **Ashura** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:45 pm

brought tears to my eyes. My boyfriend loved it!

Thanks

Ashura

Cloud · Post by **Cloud** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:45 pm

How long have you been dating?

Ashura · Post by **Ashura** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:46 pm

between 2 - 3 years.

aernath · Post by **aernath** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:19 pm

OMG I love your avatar Ashura!!!

Is that the troll giving? or taking?

Not Sir Phobos · Post by **Not Sir Phobos** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:34 pm

I like the signature too!

So uh, what you doin tonite?

Baakay · Post by **Baakay** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:45 pm

You people warm the cockles of my heart.

Ashura · Post by **Ashura** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:51 pm

aernath wrote:OMG I love your avatar Ashura!!!

Is that the troll giving? or taking?

Mr. Troll likes to give it. He gets kinda dominating when he's in the mood

Not Sir Phobos wrote:I like the signature too!

So uh, what you doin tonite?

What do you have in mind

Not Sir Phobos · Post by **Not Sir Phobos** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:05 pm

Ashura wrote: What do you have in mind

Nothin much.

A little wink, wink.
Nudge, nudge.

aernath · Post by **aernath** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:08 pm

Get a room you two!

...and don't forget your troll!!!

Not Sir Phobos · Post by **Not Sir Phobos** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:09 pm

Now I feel sad, I gave the troll to Baakay.

glorff · Post by **glorff** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:11 pm

Film at eleven

vampyreshoujo · Post by **vampyreshoujo** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:17 pm

Parental discretion advised.